For
the past 16ish weeks, we've been discussing some pretty weighty
concepts put forth by some borderline manic men. In our final class
session, we touched on the majority of these concepts – all but
those put forth by arguably the most maniacal of the maniacs,
Nietzsche – and took a little time to reflect on the cognitive
effects of these concepts. As a result of taking this class, do we
generally feel more despair in our everyday undertakings or do we
instead feel more empowered and liberated in our lives? Personally, I
definitely feel more empowered and liberated. It's really amazing to
be a member of the most remarkable species living on the most
remarkable rock known to man, and it's something that I've always
been appreciative of, but after taking this class I'm super, super
grateful for my humanity and the freedom it grants. Yes, bearing
absolute responsibility for your actions and the impact that those
actions have the remainder of your life can be daunting and
terrifying and completely paralyzing at times, but at the end of the
day, the ecstasy and empowerment that freedom brings overtakes the
fear and is release from that catatonic mindset.
This
class has also answered some of the biggest questions I have,
questions I think we all have. Well, maybe
'answered' isn't the best term – resolved is better. Namely,
banal as it may seem, the ol' Why us? Why here? Why now? A
big part of me has always believed that there isn't any true answer,
that our existence in our present state is the culmination of
infinite coincidence. After taking this class, I hold this belief
even closer than before. The biggest difference is that now I know
it's okay to think this way. The absence of any profound purpose or
true meaning of life doesn't mean that the world is fruitless and our
existence is futile. Conversely, I think that to a certain extent,
accepting that we cannot know,
that we aren't meant to know, that there really isn't anything to
know, is exponentially more liberating that knowing the truth.
Semi-related side-story: I have a friend who, in a fit of freshman
curiosity and stuck-in-the-dorms-during-winter-break-boredom, asked
me I wanted to watch her while she tried DMT – you know, to make
sure she didn't completely lose her mind. She didn't, but for a good
few minutes, she looked right through me and whispered “I don't
want to know” over and over again. After she had gotten back into
herself, I asked her what she meant by this, and she said something
along the lines of she felt like she was about to figure it
out. Something was about to
impart the meaning of everything to her, and she didn't want to know.
I kind of brushed it off at the time, but in retrospect, it makes
complete sense. The ambiguity of our existence is major part of what
gives life meaning. Because we don't have all the answers (or even a
handful, really) we are able to create our own meaning based on what
is most important to us.
Our
final class left one big question up in the air: What does
existentialism mean to you? To me, existentialism means liberation
and authenticity and acceptance. Liberation insofar as I have
absolute freedom over my actions, and as a result, hold absolute
responsibility for the direction of my life. Authenticity is related
to the aforementioned liberation, insofar as authenticity refers to a
certain candor in light of one's individual circumstances. That is to
say, authenticity requires that we recognize that we are beings who
are responsible for who we are. Finally, by acceptance I mean
accepting the uncertainties of existence. We will never have all the
answers we seek – many of our most pressing questions may not even
have answers – and that's okay. I think coming to terms with the
limitations of our consciousness – how can we ever truly understand
consciousness if consciousness is required to consider the ins and
outs of consciousness? – is crucial if one hopes to maintain
general sanity, and can be a stepping stone towards some heightened
state of awareness, strange as that may sound.
"Man cannot endure his own littleness unless he can translate it into meaningfulness on the largest possible level."
- Ernest Becker